THE BAHAMAS (The Borowitz Report)—Folks around the globe have been flabbergasted to study {that a} man who created a enterprise primarily based on imaginary cash is likely to be a fraud.

In interviews spanning the globe, respondents expressed shock and disbelief {that a} agency providing clients wealth by turning their precise cash into fake cash could possibly be something however respectable.

“I’m nonetheless attempting to wrap my head round this,” Johan, who is predicated in Sweden, stated. “How may a enterprise constructed on a basis of nonexistent {dollars} one way or the other collapse?”

“I’m fully gobsmacked by the information,” Caitlyn, who lives in London, stated. “Of all the corporations providing huge returns on made-up cash, this one appeared probably the most stable.”

Roger, who lives in Michigan, expressed concern concerning the broader implications of an organization swimming in fictitious billions immediately going bankrupt. “I simply hope that one dangerous apple doesn’t wreck the whole fake-money business,” he stated.